The 27 Step Process to Artistic Mastery
By Kyle Wilson
Step 1- Finish drawing
Step 2- Look at drawing right away- sit back and appreciate what you've done- become very pleased with yourself while feeling a sense of accomplishment- give yourself a thumbs up/ pat yourself on the back (warning- must be flexible)
Step 3- Walk away for a moment, feeling really good about yourself. Watch some TV- take a break.
Step 4- Get bored.
Step 5- Start thinking about drawing again.
Step 6- Walk back into drawing room- Begin staring at drawing, nitpicking at every little detail, critiquing every detail.
Step 7- 3 Hours later you realize you've been sitting there for 3 hours.
Step 8- Get sick of staring at drawing- eyes hurt from staring at your computer for too long. Become agitated and annoyed. Headache ensues.
Step 9- Start to hate drawing because you've been staring at it all day.
Step 10- Take 2 tablets of extra strength Tylenol.
Step 11- Try to draw something better. Something so epic it will blow everything else out of the water- your final masterpiece. The process begins:
Step 12- Spend too much time trying to find "just the right music" for your drawing.
Step 13- 1 hour later- Start to worry that you've spent too much time trying to find "just the right music" for your drawing.
Step 14- Give up and decide to put music library on shuffle.
Step 15- Start new drawing- while getting frustrated, realizing you've somehow forgotten how to draw after 26 years.
Step 16- Get more frustrated- start erasing frantically- impatiently making lines that aren't straight- creating bad proportions- uninteresting concepts.
Step 17- Crumble paper into small spherical shape, and discard into trashcan (Warning- This is the most difficult step, because you usually just end up throwing it on floor)
Step 18- Go back to original drawing, and try to stare it long enough, forcing yourself to find something good in it.
Step 19- Become unconvinced.
Step 20- Go ask mom, what she thinks, while secretly convinced she will always say yes, because moms are required to do so.
Step 21- She says yes, she likes it.
Step 22- Begin feeling good.
Step 23- Realize that you were being silly- laugh about it.
Step 24- Realize that you wasted half the day worrying about something silly.
Step 25- Feel bad because you wasted half the day worrying about something silly
Step 26- Get second drawing out of trash can- begin looking at it- while realizing it actually has potential.
Step 27- Begin working on new drawing.
Listening to: Some sort of Jazz album, I don't know the name of.
Reading: Haven't read in Years
Eating: On a serious diet right now